The Dentist Visit

So I've been sorta writing this post in my brain for the last week and haven't gotten around to writing it until now. But since I've been adding to it as I go along, I think it'll be a few posts.

So first, let's start with my dentist experience last week. By the time Tuesday came around my anxiety was in full swing. But it was curbed by the fact that I was REALLY, REALLY, REALLY over having a broken tooth in my mouth. The cut up tongue, chewing on one side, taking extra care to make sure food didn't get caught in there. I was so over it, I just wanted it fixed.

But I popped a Xanax anyway. The drive to the dentist I was a sweating, tummy flipping hot mess. I know that"s a sexy picture isn't it? Now, in my visit over a month ago the dentist had said he wouldn't know if he had to do a root canal until he "got in there", so I was still hoping for just the crown. But as I sat down he very calmly informed me he was just going to do the root canal. As if I wasn't already going crazy. He numbed my gums for the shot and I about passed out. I had to ask him to stop and please give me a minute to calm down. The shots were FREAKING ME OUT.

I had a flash back to when I was a kid, and probably where my dentist fear stems from, but hadn't really remembered until then. I remember the dentist we had wouldn't wait for the temporary numbing stuff to kick in before they started with the shots and I felt EVERYTHING. And they wouldn't wait for the Novocain to kick in before starting the filling or whatever, so I again felt EVERYTHING. A sign that adults tend not to take kids seriously. They just assumed I was scared and ignored my cries. I have a very distinct memory of that now. Crying because it hurt and them just blowing me off. It was incredibly unfair and a horrid experience. Thinking back on that and remembering that I had no control or say in what these people were doing to me no matter how bad it was hurting. Probably why my brain choose not to remember it. So no, I wasn't really eager to go through anything like that again.

But my dentist listened to my fears. Let me catch my breath and let me wait until I knew that the numbing had worked. He told me to lift my left hand at any time if I felt pain or uncomfortable with what was happening. That was extremely important to me and made me feel that I had some bit of control over what was happening. He gave me three shots none of which I felt. But the nurse said she was afraid to hold my hand because I was squeezing them so tight. Once the shots were done, they waited until they took effect. I put on my iPod and was able to almost relax through the rest of the procedure. Not entirely, but I think I did pretty good considering overall it took about 2 hours and five shots total. (He gave me two more before putting in my crown.)

But now I have my crown. It's still tender, but I can eat soft things on that side. And I need to go back and start getting other dental work done so that I don't have to deal with any more broken teeth. I was proud of going through that, but at the same time, I can't say I would have gone voluntarily if I hadn't of broken my tooth. I still hate the dentist and just sitting here typing this out is making my anxiety bubble, but I think I have found a really good dentist and I'm willing to get at least some work don't a little at a time. I'm not running back, but I'm going to do my best not to avoid it like a plague. Try anyway.