End of a Chapter

So, as I’ve said before I’m apparently not very good at this. It’s not that I don’t have anything I want to say. It just, sometimes after staring at a computer screen for 10 hours, coming home and staring at another one is just too much. My iTouch has allowed me to keep up with things like Facebook and Twitter and email. It’s small and easy to use compared to dragging out the two ton laptop and suffering hot flashes as it blows hot air on my leg, not to mention it’s currently dying a slow and miserable death and it gets mad that I want it to keep working when it clearly does not want to work anymore. But it’s one thing to type a quick message and another to type out a whole blog post on that iTouch. My fingers are too fat and I have to backspace way too often.


Then there’s the question that honestly does anyone care that much about what I have to say that I should burden them with my thoughts? Though obviously no one HAS to read anything I say, and I figure that if you don’t want to “hear” it, you won’t read it. But still, I’m really not that interesting. I bore myself to tears quite regularly, so why should I presume that anyone else would be interested? Then there’s the fact that often I really don’t know what to say. There can be a lot going on, but not a lot I want to talk about. Or a lot I want to talk about, but not a lot that I should. So there is my very long thought process on why I don’t post very much. But, believe it or not, this isn’t the point of this post.

So, 2009 ended. On New Year’s Eve my brother and a friend of ours had a conversation at length about it being the end of the decade. In just about every way except culturally we still have another year before the end of the decade. But culturally we recognize 2010 as the beginning of a new decade instead of the last year of the old one. But either way I see 2010 as the beginning of a whole new chapter in my life, on several levels. I’ve been in some kind of weird retrospective since we started 2010. I don’t think I really even thought much about it until I started to read everyone else’s blogs on the year past and the years ahead, and that brought me to the point of considering where I have been and where I’d like to go with my life over the next year and next decade. So, yes, this is the obligatory “good bye old year, hello new year post. Except, as I’ve gone over what I’d like to say in my head, I think I’ll be breaking this down into two posts. One in reflection and one of what I’m looking forward to. I’m pretty long winded, as you can probably tell from the longest intro ever, so you can probably see the need for two different posts.

So, first the end of the “decade”. Ten years ago I was 20 years old. And oh so much younger than I thought I was at the time. But then again, I think that’s the case for pretty much every 20 year old. I was fresh off the plane from spending four months living in London. Probably still my biggest adventure to date, and I’m sad I haven’t had the chance to relive or top it since. Also an experience I really should go into much more detail about in a future post. Let’s just say for now, it was pretty life changing. I was also fresh out of Bible College. Another experience that deserve more attention in s future post.

Over the last ten years, I’ve made new friends and lost some, rekindled old friendships, solidified others. I worked a terrible job at a Travelodge, began a love-hate relationship working for Mervyn’s. Was fired. Began a temporary, part time student job as a GS-1 for the federal government, and moved myself up to a permanent, full-time position that I could easily turn into a career if I choose to. Spent five years getting my AA degree (actually one AS and two AA degrees, and a few certificates) and another two getting my BA. I met and married my husband who had changed me and my life more than I could have ever anticipated. I added a whole new family to my life and bought a house, pretty much guaranteeing that we’re gonna be in the I.E. for a while. And I turned 30.

It had most definitely been a decade of growing, changing and learning. One of my goals in life is to never be satisfied with who I am. I hope that I am always looking for ways that I can grow and expand myself. I look back on the past decade and I do feel that I achieved that. Though I think I still could have done better. I achieved a lot of goals, but not all of them. But not achieving them also means that I have goals still ahead of me to achieve. I remember wondering where I was gonna be in life when 2010 came around. The idea of it actually being 2010 was just so inconceivable. It still is. Part of me feels like life none of this has happened and one day I’ll wake up and be a teenager again. Taking a look around me now, I’m not exactly where I thought I would be 10 years ago, but I know I’m where I’m supposed to be. Just farther down the same path. Closer to whatever destination I’m headed towards. When I think back on all that’s happened over the last 10 years it makes me pretty curious to see what lies ahead.

Ok, I think since I prattle on way too much 2009 will get a post to itself. Man, I talk a lot. So stay tuned for Part 2.
UPDATE: My parents got me a laptop for Christmas, so now I don’t have the slow computer excuse anymore.