Monday

So yeah. I haven’t written a whole lot lately. Partly because I haven’t had anything to say. Party because I’m busy. Partly because I’m not sure how to say what’s on my mind or what I’m going through. I’ve written a couple of posts, but still haven’t decided if I’m going to post them or not.


But in any case, here’s a post today. There is more that I want to put down, I’ll probably post about tomorrow. But for now this post is pretty basic.

This last weekend was the first out of 11 over the next 3 months that will be consumed with faire. The beginning of workshops. This weekend is like the first day of school. You are seeing friends and people that you haven’t seen since last season. There are lots of hugs, lots of catching up and of course lots and lots of DRAMA. It never ceases to amaze me the amount of drama that can be found around the faire site at any given moment. There is always a ready supply of gossip, hurt egos, back stabbings and your occasional good all out screaming fight. Don’t get me wrong, this isn’t all that faire is, but there is no denying the drama is definitely thick around site.

My weekend personally remained relatively drama free, thankfully. Few moments of misunderstandings and annoyances, but for the most part I was able to enjoy myself. Which is my mission this season. My outside life is just too much and too stressful to come to faire and have it rival my real life. I need it to be my escape this season and I’m looking forward to it being so. Construction in Glade* is going beautifully and we’re already ahead of the game, which is just awesome. I already have 2 out of my 3 classes done (I love being a Master*), survived Queen Show* rehearsal and picked up the nickname of Sourdough-heel, which I don’t even know how to begin explaining. So far it’s promising to be a good season.

This coming week is PACKED. Dress MUST be finished this week. No exception. I finished the bodice over the weekend, so that leaves the forepart and sleeves and a million little details that individually are a big deal, but added together will be time consuming. So I will continue my effort in exchanging any free moments for sewing. At least one more trip to Joanne is called for. Chris’s birthday is this week and since we are going to Disneyland on Friday to celebrate, there will be no sewing going on probably for both Thursday and Friday. Saturday I’m going to see CATS with family; I’m pretty excited about this. But it means I’ll have to get my dress approved on Sunday. And Sunday is dinner with Chris’s grandparents for birthday. I’m already exhausted.

I’ve also been fighting a cold that seems to have made its home in my sinus cavity and doesn’t want to leave. So Sudafed has become my best friend. Plus Day Light Savings has kicked my ass. As always. Seriously. How can we make it so we don’t have to do this anymore? I’m done. I’m not participating next time around.

Lady Jane is still sick. We’re trying some new meds and some holistic stuff. If it doesn’t help than it looks like we’ll have to start shoveling out the big bucks to take her to a specialist. This has been a source of great tension in our house on many levels and I’m so done. I’m really at my end of having any idea what else to do for her.

So that’s pretty much life so far this week. As I said there is more that I may talk about later. We’ll see.

*1. Glade – Court Glade is our theatrical environmental area, where we hang out, eat and acts as sort of our home base.


*2. Master – The number of workshops you have to take to work a Faire season is in proportion to the number of years you’ve worked. 1st yr = Apprentice (12 classes), 2nd-9th yr = Journeyman (6 classes), 10+ yrs = Master (3 classes).


*3. Queen Show – Faire for the most part is an interactive show where you interact with the characters around you. We have the stage shows with a scrip, director and so on at different times and places throughout the Faire. Queen Show is the one that involves the Queen and her Court.

Dress Making

So I'm at the point in the making of this dress where I'm really starting to resent it. Here it is, my last free weekend before workshops begin, and I'll be spending it chained to my sewing machine working on this damn dress. I'm having a rough time with life in general this week and instead of taking this weekend to relax, maybe even escape to the condo for a night, I have to sew. Oh well, I know I signed up for this and it'll probably be worth it when its done. But still I'm resentful today. In the mean time, here are some pictures of Bart helping me make this ball and chain:

Cutting out the skirt panels

Ironing down the seams

Showing the hoops who's boss

Taking a break

Cutting out the Picadills

Beating a random piece of velvet into submission

This is his playgirl pose, showing you his sexy ass

When the skirt was finished, I laid it on the spare bed covered with a blanket for protection

He still found it

Ready to start with those Picadills

Keeping the bodice from running away

Lady Jane taking the opportunity to move in on my husband

Injury to Insult

So let me start this post off by saying I hate the dentist. HATE. In fact I don’t think hate even comes close to expressing the strong amount of negative emotions and thoughts that go through me when I think the word dentist. I consider myself a generally pretty level person. Sure I’m dramatic, I never claimed not to be and really it makes life so much more fun. For me anyway. But I really try to be logical and reasonable when it comes to fears and phobias. But dentistry is just one of the things that I have a really hard time being rational about.


So, that said after probably close to about 15 years since I last saw a dentist, maybe even longer, I decided to be responsible and sign us up for dental coverage before my teeth that I already knew were in poor shape got worse. Insurance kicked in the beginning of January, and just last week after 2 months of ignoring it I decided it was time to finally kinda sorta look for a dentist. I only want to keep the insurance for a year if possible because it’s another $70 a month to have it. My health plan covers the basics, cleaning and exams, so if we got major stuff that’s needed done this year, we should be good. Well after a half hearted search, I gave up and decided to try again later.

But life is cruel, and in a week that’s already busting at the seams in stress, one of my molars just could not hang on any longer and broke. So I quickly did a search for a dentist that specializes in patients that have dentistry fears, and spent all of Tuesday feeling sick to my stomach and on the verge of tears about going to the dentist that afternoon.

Thankfully the initial appointment was pretty easy. Just a “Yep, your tooth is broken alright” and an appointment set up for it to be capped and possibly a root canal next Monday. Seriously, I had to stop myself at vomiting at the words root canal. I inquired about being knocked out since that seemed the easiest for everyone involved, but apparently it’s almost $300 to do so. Holy crap. But yes, I am contemplating it anyway. Because seriously. Root canal. How can that sound like anything less than absolute torture?

Well, on top of all this, the nurse called with what we’d have to pay after insurance. And if the thought of the root canal wasn’t cause for Xanax, than hearing that it was going to cost us $750+ for this fun time certainly was. Then I thought that I would check to see exactly what out health benefit plan covers to see if it would possibly makes the hit a bit easier. When reading through the plan book, I discovered something that was not there before when I last looked at these benefits about 2 years ago and I’m so mad that I didn’t know it was there before I signed us up for the separate coverage. It is an option to upgrade our basic coverage to full coverage AT NO ADDITIONAL COST to what we were already paying a month in our health insurance. And the coverage is much better than the one we’re paying for separately. So after several phone calls, questions and all that crap, I upgraded us. The catch is it doesn’t kick in until April 1st, so I have to wait until then to get my tooth fixed. The dentist office also can’t give me a quote until the enrollment kicks in on the 1st, so all I can do is hope that it’s a decent chunk cheaper than the other dental insurance, though I was assured that it would be cheaper. I just hope it’s enough to make waiting a month worth it. Another bummer, I can’t cancel the extra insurance that we’re paying for until the next open season at the end of the year. Sigh.

So, good news, I get to live in denial another month before I have to go for the horrid dental procedures (though, if it starts to hurt or anything then I’ll just have to get it done before than). It’ll be cheaper than it would be now. The bad news I have to be cautious with what I eat and take small bites. I’ll probably be cutting back a lot on sugar in the next month and eating more slowly, which is hard for me. I’ll be brushing my teeth like crazy and gargling hot salt water to avoid an infection. And my tongue is getting kinda cut up by the jagged edge. I’ve heard there is broken tooth home repair kits available, so I’m gonna see if I can find one of those.

So in case I needed one more thing to stress out about this month. It’s all my own fault, I know. But I’m still mad. It would have been a lot cheaper to get a cavity filled a week ago than pay for a crown and root canal now. Ugh. Hopefully I can get the rest of my teeth fixed before they give out as well.

Sorry if this post is boring; it’s just the main topic of the week for me, so I’m blurting it out here. Just be grateful I’m not talking about Lady Jane’s poop. Another key conversation topic in our home this week.

Spring Rush

So yesterday as I was driving home, my head spinning with the million of things that need to get done in the next week/month/3 months, my stomach was flipping with anxiety and I was frustrated that going 80 MPH on the freeway wasn’t getting anything accomplished, that I realized it was that time of year again. I don’t think I remember a spring in the last 10 years that wasn’t packed full of crap. From family obligations, faire obligations, work, and just regular life stuff packed on. I look ahead at the next three months and see that every weekend is packed. Not just packed with something in the afternoon, but packed that I’ll be sleeping in a whole hour from the weekdays to the weekend and I’ll be lucky to get in bed at a decent hour (which for me these days is 10 pm).

I was hoping that this year would be different. I subtracted a whole 12 hours a week for school and probably about another 15-20 hours in study time. That should have given me GREAT relief!! It didn’t. I cannot believe how quckly those hours filled up. And honestly I’m not sure I can tell you exactly what they filled up with. Sewing this dress has been a lot of it. I’ll be so very happy when it’s finally done. Not to mention that the deadline is QUICKLY approaching and I am seriously considering calling in sick a few days next week to work on it. Until then, any free time I have is spent sewing. Not helped by the fact that I’ve taken to hand sewing a lot of it just to make sure the detail is perfect and because I want full blown arthritis by the time I’m 35.

It’s times like these that I seriously wonder if I could handle anymore. I’m planning to start grad school this fall. And it’s freaking me out. We’re trying to have a baby. But I think I would be a huge fat fail as a mother. I can’t even get my own shit together. So what the heck am I thinking that I could add a baby to this mess? My house is still as much of a disaster as it was when we moved in three months ago, and I just don’t see being able to make any changes to that for at least another three. Though my mother keeps calling and asking when she can bring the desk and hope chest over that we don’t have room for because everything is still in boxes.

So there’s not really a conclusion to this post. It’s just me freaking out. Really freaking out. I’m feeling very overwhelmed and out of control. I know “it’ll all work out”, but I know that it’s definitely more than likely that at least one or two balls will get dropped along the way and I just have to think through the priorities so I know what balls I can afford to drop with the least amount of damage. Excuse me while I go breath into a paper bag and get drunk.

In-Laws

Look at this! Another post!! Wow, I’m jammin now!! Does anybody use the phrase “jammin” anymore? If not, I’m totally bringing back. Tell your friends.
So I’ve been thinking a lot lately about my in-laws. In my whole life of hoping and planning to one day meet a guy that would actually be duped fall in love and marry me, I don’t think I every gave too much thought into my future in-laws. (Of course, let me just say, all that planning for future husband does nothing to truly prepare you for some of the odd things you encounter when living with a boy. Wow. You think having a brother or father prepares you? It doesn’t)

Of course I hoped/assumed that I would have in-laws that were easy to get along with, kind, loving, and supportive, all that jazz. What I wasn’t really prepared for was that it’s just not that simple. Adding a whole new collective family into your life means that they are now a part of your life, all of it, their baggage, struggles, troubles as much as their love and support. You can’t separate from it.

I consider myself pretty lucky in the in-law department. I have heard some HORROR stories and I am so blessed that my in-laws don’t come anywhere close to that. They have always been accepting and loving. They don’t interfere with our lives and marriage. Sometimes I’m not sure they have any clue what to do with me. I have a very snarky sense of humor, and it was a while before they realized when I talked about marinating babies in teriyaki and BBQing them for dinner, that I was just kidding. Really. But babies do taste like chicken. Just sayin.

But as I said, along with the good comes the bad. And Chris’s family certainly has their issues. It’s strange for me to be in this position. They’re not strangers, they’re problems effect me, they concern me. I worry for them pray for them, and hope things will turn out ok. I listen to the problems and try and offer support and advice. But at the same time, there are boundaries. It’s not my place to say what I feel needs to be said sometimes. It’s not my place to interfere. I see my husband so full of worry and concern as he tries to sort through the issues facing his family. It feels like any advice I have to offer is so inadequate. My family has always been fairly stable. That isn’t to say we haven’t had (or have) our own (rather large) issues. But it’s completely different now. There is only so much Chris can do and even less I can do, but just support him as he carries the burdens that are placed on him. I hate it. I want to make it all go away, but I can’t. All I can do is sit by and watch events unfold and hope that in the end that there is a purpose to it all and everything will be ok. I’ve learned that I can do more good by shutting my big mouth and just listening. But I feel so helpless.

It’s certainly strange adding a whole new family into your life. It wasn’t as automatic as I thought it would be. In some ways it was, but I don’t think I was expecting the emotional impact that it’s been for me and for us. We’ve all heard the phrase “no family is perfect” and that’s so very true. I guess I just never really understood when I said “I do” that it meant so much more than just accepting my husband for all he is. It meant accepting a whole new imperfect family and all that they are into my life. One that I’m going to be a part of for the rest of it.

I love my in-laws for all their issues and problem. They have expanded my horizons to new things and new ideas. They accepted me with no reservations and made me a part of their family and traditions. And I’m very lucky. I just wish I could help them more.

Renaissance Faire

Ok, so I did it again. It’s pretty obvious that I’m bad at this sort of thing isn’t it? And this time it’s not even really because I haven’t had stuff I wanted to blog about. I actually have, but instead of taking a few minutes of down time at work to type something up and posting it when I get home, I think “Oh, I’ll type that up tonight and post it!” Then I get home, I sit on my comfortable couch, turn on the TV, start cooking dinner and blah, blah, blah… I look at the computer and sigh, like the thought of getting on is similar to having to go workout on the Wii, something else I haven’t done in months. I don’t know what’s happened to me. A year ago I was attending not one but two classes a NIGHT!! 2 in one freakin night! That’s ridiculous. And I’m planning to do it again next year. Lord help me.


So anyway, I think we’ve established that the whole typing when I get home thing just doesn’t work too well for me. I don’t even remember half the crap that I wanted to write about a week ago.

So anyway, onto today’s topic. Renaissance Faire is coming up soon. At first I figured I wouldn’t talk about it all that much here, to spare you the drama, but honestly faire is a huge part of my life and will be taking the majority of my free time over the next few months, so instead of fighting it, I’ve decided to embrace it. I apologize now for any references you don’t get. I’ll try to explain them as I go along, but that could get long or I might forget, so if there’s something you want to know more about, just ask.

So faire. I’ve been doing faire since I was 17. To say it’s had a huge impact on the person I am today would be an understatement. I remember starting my first season wide eyed and innocent and thinking before faire even opened, that I had found my home. There is a lot of love-hate involved with faire. It’s far from perfection. It’s been a source of many tears, frustrations, embarrassments, anger and pain as much as a source of friendship, love, laughter and lots and lots of alcohol.

This Saturday is the last of the Queen’s Court rehearsals for the 2010 season, before we hit site for workshops. I am really beyond gitty about this season. Because of school and other personal reasons I haven’t worked a full season in over five years. This will be the first one and I’m already exhausted. But so, so excited. I bet you didn’t know faire had its own weather. But this time of year I go outside and I just feel like it’s a faire day. Like I should be dresses in 30lbs of silk and velvet and trudging around over dirt roads and sharing goblets of water.

I have been preparing for this season for months now, slowly. As I’ve mentioned before I’ve been sewing like crazy my new gown for the season. It’s coming along nicely, which makes me happy, but I am terrified of approval. The day when I get all dressed up in the dress that I just spent countless hours and an unmentionable about of money making and stand in front of Ms. F and be judged from head to toe. This judging hasn’t always gone smoothly in the past, so you can imagine that I’m a little terrified this time around. I’ll post pics of my hard work when it’s all complete and approved. In the mean time I’ll probably be talking about the dress and how it’s coming along.

I’ve also been readjusting my life to have every weekend for three months booked. Faire is one heck of a time commitment. And where there are some exceptions, such as Easter, I plan to be there every day, which means no lazy Saturday or Sunday afternoons for me for a while. Court Rehearsals are a big part of the preparation. They are filled with activities and exercises for practicing he language, improvisation, dancing (yes, I am rather good with dances that went out of style 500+ years ago), and projection. It’s a chance to get to know newer members of the group and catch up with old ones I haven’t seen in months.

So there you have it. I’m sorry if this post is a little boring or random. I’m mostly trying to lay a base for future posts so you have some reference to what I’m talking about. I know it seems like I’m overcomplicating things a bit, but faire really is a world all its own, and it’s kinda hard to get the concept until you’ve been through it. But, here of a few of my favorite pics of me taken out at faire. These are all taken between 2007 and 2009, and I believe these are all taken by Gar Travis unless otherwise noted:

Yes, we are even sexier in real life

This is one of Chris's favorites

And this is as dressed up as my husband gets. :)

Don't mess with us! This pic is by Danny

Nothing to Say

So, I really am trying to be a better blogger and post more, but honestly I have had nothing really to post. Not much is happening right now. Most of my time is being taken up with sewing my dress for Ren Faire. It's coming along slowly and I'll post pics once it's done and approved. I'll try and get pics up later in the week of Bart helping me make it. He's been a big help. Well anyway, since sewing and beading really isn't awesome blogging material. Here are just some random things that have made me happy lately.

 

• Some friends showed me this recently and it just brings out the major geek in me. Binary solo!!!

• Last week I was bored so I decided I needed to add some more blogs to my Google Reader for some reason. Because I'm not behind on reading them enough as it is. But this blog came up and it just cracks me up. Mostly because I think this chick is on crack. But the pictures she draws totally makes it worth it. You should check it out.

• I came across this actually months ago, but I can't remember if I posted about it or not. So I'm sorry if I have. But you should still check it out. It's just an awesome waste of time. Prepare yourself for Ikea Hights.

• I think I need to get Chris this sweater. Totally hot huh?

Ok, that's pretty much all I got. Sorry it's not total awesomeness, but I hope it at lease made you smile. :)